


Post Mission Celebration

by ChastityHollister



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-25
Updated: 2013-09-25
Packaged: 2017-12-27 14:26:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/979982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChastityHollister/pseuds/ChastityHollister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fitz-Simmons and Ward are relaxing after a mission, and Ward makes an effort to use his social skills and get to know them. He is surprised to learn how they have fun in their free time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Post Mission Celebration

Another successful mission, another Chinese take-away and beer meal. Simmons was licking a dangling drop off the mouth of her bottle in a slightly disquieting way, and Fitz was fondling a gadget on his desk. Time to be a team-player.

"So, this is what you guys do after every mission?"

Small talk. Awful.

Fitz and Simmons' eyes snapped to him, with almost identical looks of surprise. For someone who talked incessantly most of the time, they sure were off in geeky la-la land inside their own heads a lot.

When no one picked up the conversational baton, Ward forged on.

"This is how you decompress, I mean? With Chinese food. Sort of a ritual for you guys?"

Fitz looked from him to the empty take-away cartons littering the work bench. His hand went back to stroking the thingy.

"We have lots of places that deliver near here. The menus are around here somewhere... but I mostly look them up online." He sounded puzzled, as if he had no idea why Ward was asking, but like an eager and friendly puppy he was happy to play along. It was progress of some sort, Ward supposed.

Maybe on his next evaluation, Ward's interpersonal skills evaluation could rise to a turd without knives stabbed through it.

"Usually we have sex, when we're on 12 hour stand down. But we thought it would be rude to invite you when you hadn't shown interest first," Simmons said.

"Simmons! Bringing it up like that is against sexual harassment regs, we agreed we wouldn't do that."

Simmons smirked at Fitz, and cocked her hip at him. She didn't look like she minded him jumping up and arguing right in her face.

"But he did show he was receptive. When I was simulating fellatio on my bottle earlier, his pupils dilated and followed the motion, his body temperature increased, his palms started sweating, and blood flow increased in his penis." She flipped her hair and indicated a monitor behind Fitz with her chin.

Ward's tactical options flew through his head: Jump up and slam Fitz and Simmons' foreheads against each other, then evacuate through the door while they were stunned. Take the wheelie chair he was sitting on and smash the biometric equipment they were using to monitor him. Punch Simmons in her smug boobs.

None of the options would accomplish his primary goal, that of becoming a better team-player and surviving this crappy assignment.

Fitz grinned at Simmons, and high-fived her.

"Excellent!" He sat back in his desk chair, and scooted it over to Ward.

"Look, this is what I've been working on recently."

Fitz put the gadget he'd playing with down on the work bench by Ward.

"It's a remote controlled inflatable dildo, and it secretes aphrodisiac lube. We'd love to try it out with you."

"Aphrodisiac lube?" Ward did like to cut loose with something a bit stronger than beer, but he'd been thinking more like shots. And he'd done poppers sometimes, before he got a government job.

"It's not on the proscribed drugs list."

"And if the FDA knew about it, would it be?"

Simmons grinned and shrugged. "I haven't shared the recipe with anyone. S.H.I.E.L.D. is quite generous with letting us use the lab in our spare time, as long as we don't monetize anything we develop here."

Ward didn't wheel his chair back from where Fitz was crowding into him, their knees nearly touching, not wanting to show weakness. But he did turn away from their twin eager looks.

He knew S.H.I.E.L.D. at this security level had a very relaxed attitude to assault of a fellow agent and complete lack of respect for his bodily autonomy. They apparently expected you to suck it up and deal, the same was he had always shrugged off bumps and scrapes in unarmed combat training.

He also knew Fitz had an adorable smile and blond curls, and an aversion to getting hands-on, and Simmons had gorgeous long hair and a banging body. And possibly an oral fixation. 

His own assets were a dick at half-chub, a definite appreciation for smart and curvaceous ladies, and a bi-flexible curiosity about showing off in front of another man. He could work with this.

"Why the hell not? My safeword is 'red'." 

For the sake of team-building.


End file.
